The only thing we are sure of in this life, is that it will end. It doesn’t matter what your belief system is, whether you are a religious person or not, our earthly presence will end.
It is also one of the most difficult subjects to talk about with our loved ones. So, when someone we love dies, we are inundated with emotions and feelings we struggle to cope with.
From the moment they pass, until the funeral, we are busy; we must tell others, make arrangements, deal with all the legal stuff, registrar, finances, solicitors………….
Then what? Condolence cards are still on the windowsill, but the senders carry on with their own lives. We go back to work, school, college, take care of our homes and family, back to normal? I don’t think so, life will never be the same again.
For me, it was 6 months after my Mum passed that my wheels fell off. I just couldn’t cope anymore, and I ended up being off work for four and a half months, back on antidepressants and totally overwhelmed.
Fortunately, I had support from the hospice, I went along to the Bereavement Group and tried Reiki for the very first time. It was just a taster session, no longer than 20 mins, and I immediately felt something, even though I couldn’t describe it! That night was first time in over 6 months that I managed to sleep, and I couldn’t explain that either!
That was the start of my journey. A journey in which I leant that everything I was feeling was perfectly normal, that there is no right or wrong with grief and that it is different for everyone.
There are many different thoughts on how to deal with grief which usually start with a ‘should’. You should be doing this, you should feel like this, you should be over this by now. In my experience, there is no one size fits all and when you have the added pressure of what you should do, try to do and you don’t feel ‘better’, all it does is make you feel worse!
The Kubler-Ross model describes 5 stages of Grief, Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance and I thought that if I worked through them, one at a time, that all would be well, because that’s what I should do. It may well work for some, but not for me, I didn’t get it at all! Eventually, I realised there are many stages to grief, they do not form any logical order and jumping from one stage to another and back again, is perfectly normal.
What I did get however, was more Reiki sessions. I won a session at a Mind Body Spirit event and enjoyed it so much I booked more. I still couldn’t explain what was happening, I just knew I felt calmer, more settled and accepting of how I was feeling.
Now, as a Reiki Master I do understand what happened. My bodies natural flow of energy was blocked because of the intense emotions I was trying to deal with but didn’t know how to. REI is the source of guidance which helps us in times of need, KI is the non-physical energy that flows through all living things. The lovely practitioner I worked with, balanced my energy and cleared the blockages, allowing my energy to flow freely once more.
My journey led me to learn Reiki for myself, before learning how to teach it to others. I can honestly say Reiki has changed my life and I am proud and very privileged to help others change theirs too.